Kaddish for my kin
in its relatively short life span, i was a fan of Northern Exposure. obsessed with the west after my bicycle trip from Oregon (extending across the country), and just having begun to volunteer as a radio announcer, it dovetailed with me, intricately.
in particular, there was an episode entitled "Kaddish For Uncle Manny", where the lead character, Joel Fleishman, felt the need to perform the jewish celebration of "kaddish" for his recently passed relative... an annual remembrance.
well, i'm not jewish... though, when i had the itch to Google my last name, some time ago, i was amazed how many rabbis shared the same. so, maybe, i have some credibility in what i'm about to write. laughably.
in the waning days of my job, my nose is to the proverbial grindstone: i intend, through force of will, to go the extra mile to keep the wheels of progress well-greased... egotistically, perhaps, to leave them up shit creek when i'm dismissed.
that'll be my way of saying "fuck you". when the customers are disappointed about performance, it'll be "Corporates" responsibility.
as last night feverishly passed, i had this gnawing feeling that the date should mean something, as the 11th became the 12th. and so it did.
on this date, this same day, eleven years ago, my grandmother passed. my mother tearfully called me after i'd had two hours of sleep to beg me to come home to verify that she had breathed her last... possibly the hardest thing i'd ever done, feeling this warm human being, the one who loved me, unconditionally, so terribly cold.
ten years previously, three days later, my brother crossed over, also.
so, i found myself at the home place, today... standing over their resting places, when that aforementioned episode crept back into my memory. and i sang to them.
my grandmother, a lifelong lover of music (but especially country), received "Will The Circle Be Unbroken". my brother, a Beatles fan par excellence (and i've an entry about them in the can... and "In My Life", just this minute, came on the radio), "I'll Follow The Sun".
maybe i did this to make myself feel better. but, i did this because they made me what i am, too... and they deserve remembrance, as well.
