Places That Are Gone
that was the title of (arguably) the biggest hit created by DC native/new waver Tommy Keene. it's a nice 12-string, jangly song, rooted in the 80s... completely forgotten until this afternoon, when the itch to write bit me. but, more than anything, it was the title that surfaced. after the last few days of observing my fellow doomed co-workers, watching the pre-press department slowly shutting down before our official release in two weeks, it was hard not to stand back, un-focus, and take a mental snapshot of a place that will soon be no more. comrades, disbanded.
purpose, redundant.
it wasn't the best idea, but i began to read The Grapes Of Wrath, a few weeks ago. more than likely, it's overdue at the library, now. it's not a quick read.
a stark, unsettling, "socialist", very real story of loss, migration, and reduction of people to their lowest common denominator... that's John Steinbeck's masterpiece. i'm glad i wasn't required to read it in school, or i'd probably have never given it a second thought. and, scarily, it's a perfectly uncomfortable mirror to Now. instead of being tossed off of family land by corpulent bottomline landowners and bankers, all of these productive people are, nonetheless, being shown the bleak road to uncertainty. unemployment. Big Steps Backwards. no prospects. reassessments.
by Businessmen, Bankers, and Stockholders.
it may not be a question of burying tired, sickened family members in the gutter on an unforgiving road to the false hope of Bakersfield... but it's an unforgiving journey, nonetheless. and, the saddest part is that the powers-that-be will never recognize the similarities, or learn from the past. their pursuit of the Holy Grail of the Quarterly Report blinds them to anything but their bonuses, cruises, ego massages and portfolios.
but, when i stood back and witnessed all of this, unfocused, i felt a little bit of guilt, too. i went through this same scenario, last year... but learned to live with it, before i bounced back for this bout. it's no less unsettling, this time, but i feel better prepared for it. "when you got nothing, you got nothing to lose", Bob Dylan sang.
that's another succinct musical punctuation.
in fact, i feel welcome relief for the end of this period of madness... living in the darkness, hiding from the daylight, living the polar opposite of the rest of humanity. luckily, for me, i have a place of retreat that only the tax man can claim, in the worst case. a patch of earth to plant vegetables. space to use my talents. birds, deer, a mean little cat and trees as companions. those Lowest Common Denominators sound much better than food stamps, homeless shelters and groveling for the basics.
this feels like standing on the diving board, with my toes dangling off of the edge (and i hate diving, with a passion). but, i know that there's air in my lungs to bring me back to the surface, if i inhale before i leap.
all of those comfortable places will soon be gone... the insurance, the routine, the camaraderie, the purpose. but, that isn't the End, either.
it's a new road.
