what a diff'rence a day makes
you come to expect anything on the eastern seaboard in March. common wisdom would tell you that February is the cruelest month, with no end to winter in sight, but... no... it's March. months since the weather turned cold (in October), Spring looming weeks away, older folks shedding this mortal coil just before seeing the Promised Land of life, anew... March is the annual prick-tease. not that i would know anything about that.
just two days ago, i spied the first blossom of a daffodil at the home place. it wasn't hard to spot: since everything but the sky was absent of vivid color (the muted palette that this time of year can be), a tiny blaze of yellow was like an exclamation point. so early in the season, it was incredible how intricate the folds of the petals were, to the point that i was almost embarrassed to look for too long. trés "Georgia O'Keeffe", if you-know-what-i-mean.
but that punctuates what Spring is, anyway: a time when things are borne.
and, in its cruelty... March, one day old, threw a howling snowstorm on top of it.
but, it won't be the last flash of color, either. it all gets more vivid from here on out.
personally speaking, this month won't be doing me any favors, either. in eleven more working days, i'll be out on the street with almost ten percent of the rest of the country. another end to a cycle. i came to this job fleeing a failed romance... and, although months later, another caps this turn of the screw. why my work history has to follow my amorous one, i'll never know... though, i suppose, it all has to do with starting over.
reinvention... or something.
scanning the meager employment listings in this cyclical downturn, it's obvious that i have only two choices: opt for the lowest common denominator, and subsist on a basic level... or go on the dole, get educated, and turn the page. in the mail tomorrow, goes a request for my college transcripts... Step One to reinvention. i now have to think of what i want to be when i grow up.
that choice means work. unsupervised.
but, that's a rebirth, too.
so, i continue to streamline my lifestyle... throwing out the old as burnt offerings, assessing what i'll need to bring with me. jettisoning the unnecessary, stockpiling and repairing what needs to come along. getting mobile... because i might have to hit the road, soon. this place that i've called "home" only wants rich retirees, much as it always has.
i'll leave behind this image, too... because, as i was fixing this tired old extension cord, i saw a self-portrait, reminiscent of my mindset in past months.
pick up. dust off. start all over again.
it's the reason for the season.
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